Call With Kindness

Today’s random act of kindness was to call a faraway friend or relative to say hello.  We decided to pick up the phone and give Lisa, K’s cousin, a jingle.  We hardly ever get to see her, and shamefully never talk to her on the phone, so we thought she would be a good choice.Continue reading “Call With Kindness”

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49 For 49

I turned 49 a few days ago.  No, I’m not really 50 something and just using 49 as my sticky-post age.  I’m 49. I’m not fazed.  Not being fazed is a good thing. I have never been a person who was affected by my age.  I turned 16, 21, 25, 30, 40, etc. with noContinue reading “49 For 49”

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Facing the Book of My Life

Vapor. I was sitting outside this morning, enjoying a bit of time before the heat and humidity forced me back inside.  I had a cup of coffee and was chatting with K about our trip to Oregon this year, going over some of the little details of the trip out, discussing some of the thingsContinue reading “Facing the Book of My Life”

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Trading Up to a Marriage We Already Had

It’s the 12th of June.  We’ve been legally married for 10 days now.  I don’t feel any more married than I did before, though we were told, immediately after getting the deed done, that now if we split up we’d have to get divorced like everyone else.  That made us laugh. In 2003 my lifeContinue reading “Trading Up to a Marriage We Already Had”

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Dominic Turns 1

. Today is Dominic Thomas’ first birthday. He is bright and loving and joyful and curious. He laughs and smiles a lot and doesn’t cry much at all. He makes his pterodactyl sound, for everything, occasionally throwing in a yeah, yeah just so we know he can talk if he wants to, and he’s steadyContinue reading “Dominic Turns 1”

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Happy Birthday, Dad

Today would’ve been my dad’s 71st birthday.  71. I imagine him, smiling, moving quickly from one project to another, eyes sparkling like only his did, laughing that fantastically gregarious laugh.  I imagine him surrounded by his children, their spouses, his grandchildren, his wife.  He is drinking coffee, with cream and loads of sugar, and eatingContinue reading “Happy Birthday, Dad”

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Best Finds of 2013

I’ve been reading a lot of best of lists in the last several days, everything from albums of 2013 to recipes involving bacon.  Everyone seems to be making a year end list.  I thought, why not jump on the bandwagon.  So here we go.  This isn’t a top ten or even a list with anyContinue reading “Best Finds of 2013”

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Thankful Everyday – Twenty-Three

23.  I’m thankful for my grandparents.  Bill and Martha were the best.  They gave us all, and there are a lot of us, such a great sense of family and fun and strength and curiosity and acceptance and love.  I’ve written about them here and here and here and so many other times on this blogContinue reading “Thankful Everyday – Twenty-Three”

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Thankful Everyday – The Nineteenth

19.  I’m thankful for the kids.  I never had my own children.  Never really wanted to, until I met K.  By then we were old enough that we decided having them wouldn’t work.  Lucky for me K already had children.  They were grown, but she had them.  It meant, and means, that I get toContinue reading “Thankful Everyday – The Nineteenth”

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Thankful Everyday – The Seventeenth

17.  I’m thankful for laughter.  The way my honey laughs with her whole body, how my brother slaps his knee when it’s a real good one, the grandsons giddy sounds, my friends smiling eyes when they laugh, strangers passing by who are cracking up, my family’s sounds of laughter at a family function, and myContinue reading “Thankful Everyday – The Seventeenth”

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To Be Human

So much of how we see ourselves is based on how our peers, our friends, our family, and our community sees us.  Yes, if you are a person with good self-esteem you can be in the world as a more confident, relaxed, grounded individual.  But even the most secure person struggles, at times, with howContinue reading “To Be Human”

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Thankful Everyday – The Eighth

Here we are, day eight. 8.  I’m thankful for my second family.  When K and I got together I didn’t realize at the time that I’d be gaining a whole new set of people to call my own.  People who in turn would call me their own.  People who made me a part of theContinue reading “Thankful Everyday – The Eighth”

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Thankful Everyday – The Seventh

Day seven and these feelings of being thankful are still going strong. 7. I’m thankful for my brother, Kevin.  We’ve been through so much together.  No two people have the same experiences he and I share.  But more than that, he’s a fantastic brother, and a gentle soul.  He’s also famously the best hugger inContinue reading “Thankful Everyday – The Seventh”

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A Dance of Victory

I didn’t call yesterday.  Since 1999 I’ve either been there or called.  She was not at home for the weekend.  I didn’t want to interrupt her fun.  Now — I feel bad.  Or better yet, maybe not bad but sort of off about it. 1998… Mom is diagnosed with breast cancer.  She’d had the lump,Continue reading “A Dance of Victory”

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Carving Out Halloween

Halloween, it’s nearly here.  For me Halloween, though enjoyable (mostly for the candy and occasional small party), hasn’t been my number one holiday.  I know people who live for this little snippet of time in the year and I love how they love it.  I envy their enthusiasm for it.  I wish I could share it.Continue reading “Carving Out Halloween”

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Missing People Just Plain Sucks

Missing people just plain sucks. I’m sad.  I just finished watching a video about the School of Piano Technology in Vancouver, Washington.  And no, pianos themselves don’t make me sad, just in case you were wondering.  What just made me sad was missing my dad. My relationship with my dad was… complicated.  My parents divorcedContinue reading “Missing People Just Plain Sucks”

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You’re a Big Brother Now

Dear Sebastian… I don’t think the Grandmas have written in a long long time.  We’ve seen and spent time with you plenty, but have been so lame about writing anything here.  We thought it was time to remedy that.  So here goes… For six weeks now you’ve been a big brother.  Your little brother DominicContinue reading “You’re a Big Brother Now”

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Fathers

I started writing this on Father’s Day and was, as can happen, distracted by actual life events.  Visits from family and then traveling can do that.  I had nearly forgotten about this post until I noticed it idling there, the red “draft” sitting beside it in my post queue.  It was important to me toContinue reading “Fathers”

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Our Better Selves

We can be a divisive country.  Throw politics and religion into the mix of any conversation and it’s likely people will not agree on something.  It’s our passion and our conviction that makes us so. In those moments of disagreement we are also not always our better selves.  We point fingers, call names, and talkContinue reading “Our Better Selves”

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She Is Grace Under Pressure

I love my Mom.  It’s not just loving her though, I admire her.  When I think of some of the best qualities a person should have… truth, trust, honesty, integrity, acceptance, humor, a non-judging attitude and spirit, honor, fun, smarts, strength, an ability to keep moving forward no matter the circumstance,  and grace… she has allContinue reading “She Is Grace Under Pressure”

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I Hope The Fish Are Bitin’

I can’t believe it’s been a week.  A week.  Time goes so fast, or slow, or fast again, depending on how you look at it, and how you feel.  To me, and in talking to Mom, to her as well, it seems as if the last week has stretched out creating the illusion that ohContinue reading “I Hope The Fish Are Bitin’”

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“hold life like a face between your palms”

“to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; whenContinue reading ““hold life like a face between your palms””

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Giving Thanks

Wow…  Thanksgiving is tomorrow.  Can’t believe it.  Sometimes these things sneak up on us.  Not that we aren’t prepared, we are.  It’s just that I can’t believe it’s already that time of year.  We have entered the holiday season.  And again I’ll say… wow. Now that I’m getting over my shock at the time ofContinue reading “Giving Thanks”

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