Standing on that same street corner Karen noticed a fork randomly laying on a lamp post box (not sure if that’s the technical name for them… but there it is). I took another one as well where the fork was in focus, but I like this one… shows the background for this fork art. So corny, I know. This, again, taken with my phone.
Mysteriously there was a bible with a partially consumed bottle of Barq’s Root Beer sitting on this bench. No one around. Maybe it was an offering… sit, read the good book, quench your thirst. We did neither. We just stopped and took a photo of it. Keep Portland Weird.
We couldn’t believe it. You go to Loch Ness and you think, hmmm… maybe we’ll see the famous monster. But you go thinking no, we probably won’t see her. Then… as you approach the beach, you get a glimpse and you’re in shock. There she is. Swimming out in the Loch… Nessie. You catch your breath and take the shot, hoping not to screw it up. After all, this is a major event. This could be your ticket to photographic stardom and celebrity. Then after you take it you hope, against hope, that the shot turns out. You come back to the computer, upload your photos, and again… hold your breath. And the most beautiful thing happens… you get the shot. There she is. Plain for the world to see. Amazing. Startling. The Loch Ness Monster.
NOTE: The story above, along with the photo, is fabricated. This is not the monster. I can’t go on telling a lie. This is a rock, and another rock, perfectly poised to be shot as Nessie. That combined with some fancy footwork on the computer with shading, etc. results in this shot. Pretty good though, huh?
Saturday… soccer game… warm… strange flies appearing out of no where to swarm around the wooden goal post. Luckily the kids were not shooting at this. They had temporary, and much smaller, goals to shoot at. If a person was wearing any bright colored shirt, mostly in the yellow family, these little buggers would not leave you alone. Luckily neither of us were wearing yellow, or anything in the yellow family. Luckily.
I admit it. I ran her over. Not an actual person named Barbie, so quit reaching for the phone and 911, no… the doll. She was sprawled out, looking just like a crime scene, in the middle of the road. I couldn’t stop in time to avoid her and really don’t know if I would’ve if I could’ve anyway. What I’m really disappointed about is that I couldn’t stop to take a photo of her. I was picturing how I’d do it, no pun intended, getting down on hands and knees trying to get the most realistic angle. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t have a camera with me. The problem was that I was on my way to a meeting and couldn’t stop, didn’t have time. Sad. A picture would’ve been good.
So there she was… sprawled out, face down, in the middle of the road. I wondered, how did she get there? Was there some little girl or boy out there missing their Barbie, not knowing where she was or how she’d gotten away? Was she dropped from a passing car or from a kid’s bike as they sped along? Was someone off on the side of the road doing a little experiment trying to see if anyone would stop to render assistance to her? I don’t know. There was a guy passing by, walking, who didn’t even look at her. I thought it sort of sad. Not even a tiny glance in her direction. What was she? Meaningless? Come on…. a plastic girl has feelings too. Right? Am I right?
Ah well… I will never know her fate. Never know what might have happened to cause her to be there in the first place. I’ll never know…. I wonder if it’ll haunt me. The picture of her, in my head, forever branded there. The horrifying site of face down Barbie. Probably not. But if it did… wow… I shudder at the thought…
Today I saw Elvis… really. I was driving through a senior center parking lot, minding my own business, and just planning on turning around, when I spotted the Elvis mobile. I was surprised, shocked, dismayed, and a little giddy, I must admit. And then, as if seeing the mobile itself wasn’t enough, I actually saw the man. He got out of the vehicle and walked toward the center. He had on blue jeans, a shiny diner type 50’s jacket, big glasses, and the total Elvis hairdo. It was him. I know it. I think Elvis is masquerading as himself, driving around to various senior centers, and putting on shows. That’s what I think…. uh huh, yeah man.
The tag is: Tell your readers about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
1. If I’m not going anywhere after I get home from work I like to change into some cutoff pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. I don’t always do the best job cutting them off and at times they look pretty jagged and uneven on the bottom, but I don’t care. The pajama bottoms I’m currently wearing have pictures of golfing santas on them.
2. To some, or maybe most, it might not seem relaxing, but I like to play Scrabble against the computer to relax.
3. I tend to get hooked on one t-shirt and wear it really often until I then get hooked on a new one or another in my closet… this is a sad phenomena and I’m sure my friends and family have noticed.
4. Every once in awhile I google myself to make sure my real name doesn’t pop up anywhere. It’s the nature of my job that prompts my need to keep my identity hidden. When I leave the job I’ll care less about the real me being seen, and known.
5. I buy a lot of music from iTunes. There’s really nothing spectacular or unusual about me doing this as I’ve always been a big music buyer. I also have been putting my cds onto my computer and then transferring them to my ipod. This is taking me a long time as I go great guns for awhile and then don’t do anything for months, or even a year now. The whole thing is a process for me as I’m compelled to get all the album artwork when I put a cd on my hard drive, which sometimes takes a bit of searching, and if I can’t find it anywhere I then use some weird photograph I’ve taken as a substitute.
6. I love sandwiches. In fact, I’d probably be content to eat sandwiches for nearly every lunch and dinner without ever getting bored of them. It’s sad. Though, if you think about it, there are so many different kinds of sandwiches that I’d never have to have the same one two times in a row if I didn’t want to.
L … Now it’s your turn.
I just checked my e-mail and once again found I’d received an e-card from my “sister”. I deleted it of course, because if one of my sisters had sent an e-card my way I’m certain they would’ve signed it. Last week I received one from a “family member”. I deleted that one as well. I never guessed I was so popular, or that my family was so into e-cards sent at random. Sure, I get them… at my birthday, or christmas, or valentines day… or maybe even for columbus day. But at random? Not so much.
So I’d just like to throw out there to the universe that I don’t want any more of these e-cards. I don’t even open them… I will never open them… so… sneaky random e-card senders… cease your sending at once.
All in one night… the shocking truth of it… one, our Mimosa Tree has Vascular Wilt Disease. How do we know this? Well… we walked out into the front yard tonight to discover that half the tree, the rest of the half that had already lost a large branch, had broken off. It was lying there, sprawled across part of the butterfly bush and what was left of the peonies. So, with saw in hand, my sweetie started the process of cutting it away and then cutting it up. I grabbed smaller branches and broken them down. Then we researched… which is how we know now that we have Vascular Wilt Disease. Which, if you ask me, is too pretty a word for it. It should be called brown crap oozing from the open wound where your tree just split in two disease. …if you ask me.
The other disaster this evening… while we were dealing with the tree, our man Weston was running about the yard, as is his usual practice in the evenings, when he inadvertently stepped on a bee and was stung in his foot. It was one of the very few times we’ve heard him yelp, and yelp he did. He limped over to where we were working on the tree and definitely got our attention. We, of course, dropped what we were doing and tended to him, pulling out the stinger and then putting honey on it. I know… honey you ask… well… that’s what one old wives tale said to do, so we tried it. I don’t think it took the pain away, but he briefly forgot about being in pain as he licked the honey off, so in a way… it worked.
Now… we sleep.
READINGTON, N.J. – Organizers think they’ve found the secret to good weather for this weekend’s Quick Chek— a virgin.
According to an imported superstition, good weather can be assured through a ceremony involving a virgin, some knives and fresh, whole onions and peppers.
And, no, Victoria Brumfield won’t be sacrificed.
Festival organizer Howard Freeman said a colleague heard about it inseveral years ago. For the past two years, it has worked in . Partly because of the superstition, Freeman no longer buys weather insurance for the event, which is expected to draw 175,000 people.
Brumfield, 28, has worked with Freeman in the past and is a devout Mormon, proud of her adherence to the church’s rules, including not drinking, smoking, gambling or cursing — and no sex before marriage.
She became the festival’s official virgin last year after her younger sister, who had that role in 2005, moved to.
It’s a mixture of “fun and embarrassment,” she told the Star-Ledger of.
Here’s how she does it: She drives a golf cart to the four corners of the festival site, picks up some grass, mumbles some random words, then penetrates the produce with a knife before jamming it and the knives into the ground. The ritual was scheduled for Thursday afternoon.
The pressure is on this weekend. Thesays there’s a chance of rain each of the three days of the festival, which was scheduled to start Friday. – AP