Let's Rodeo!

Here’s the thing… I’ve done this before. This isn’t my first rodeo. I know all about social distancing, quarantine, and sheltering in place. In 2010 I came down with a case of Leukemia. Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia to be exact. From the moment I arrived at the oncology unit I was on lock-down. No person withContinue reading “Let's Rodeo!”

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Eight Years

Eight years ago today a doctor walked into my hospital room and told me I had leukemia. Since then I’ve periodically asked a question of myself.  Not, as you might expect, why me, or even just why.  There is no why.  It was random, not predictable, and as far as we know not preventable.  ItContinue reading “Eight Years”

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… and, Breathe

November 18.  Four years ago today we got the news that we’d been waiting for.  The molecular scan of my latest bone marrow biopsy showed I was in molecular remission.  It was a big deal.  My honey gave me a necklace with the date, a heart, and an inscription that included, among other things, theContinue reading “… and, Breathe”

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Random Thoughts on a Wednesday

I was just wondering, uh… now I forget. It’s a rainy day in Central Illinois.  It’s been rainy for a few days now.  Unusual in our experience here.  It reminds us of Oregon.  Day after day of rain and rain and rain.  It’s sort of nice actually. Leaves are falling, and all over the ground.Continue reading “Random Thoughts on a Wednesday”

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Crying Tears of Joy, In the Garage

Ever find yourself sitting in the garage after you’ve pulled in, unwilling to get out of the car because the song that’s playing is making you feel something? That was me just now, and damn, it is great to be alive. Every once in awhile I find myself, because of a song, or a video,Continue reading “Crying Tears of Joy, In the Garage”

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Finally, I Say Thank You

It’s taken three years, but I finally wrote the email I’ve been thinking about writing for a long long time.  I finally said thank you. I could reiterate here what I said, but I think I’ll just post the letter I wrote.  If there are people out there in helping professions, know that you makeContinue reading “Finally, I Say Thank You”

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Go Live a Normal Life

I’m crying.  I can’t seem to stop.  I dry up for awhile, and then there they are again, tears falling down my face uncontrollably.  I’m not sad… no, not at all.  These are tears of joy.  Tears from days, and weeks, sometimes hours, and two years and four months. Wow.  What should I do now.Continue reading “Go Live a Normal Life”

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The Power of Two

Here it is, June 1.  I am amazed this much time has passed.  Two years.  Two. Two years ago today I was a sick puppy and ventured into the urgent care, on the insistence of my honey and of the nurse who I’d talked to on the phone.  Urgent care to hospital via ambulance aContinue reading “The Power of Two”

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Fear And Love in Illinois

Honesty.  Being honest. I am afraid.  Not always, but I am.  I am trying not to be. I capture moments of joy, soaking them up, appreciating them with every part of my being.  My honey doing something silly and wonderful and full of joy, which she does many times a day.  Her smile.  Sebastian’s laughContinue reading “Fear And Love in Illinois”

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Give Me an A, Give Me a T, Give Me an R, Give Me an A… What’s it Spell?

ATRA… It’s cycle ten, people. Can’t believe it. 19 months since this all started and only just over nine months to go. I saw my oncologist today. The every three month visit. I had a couple of concerns as my liver counts had been elevated for awhile. My GP even ordered an ultrasound last weekContinue reading “Give Me an A, Give Me a T, Give Me an R, Give Me an A… What’s it Spell?”

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ATRA Be Gone… For Now

Yay!  The beginning of this new cycle has come to a close as I took my last dose of ATRA this morning for another three months.  I’m thinking that the headaches will finally be gone, for three months anyway.  Makes me happy. I didn’t know I would have this particular side effect actually… until IContinue reading “ATRA Be Gone… For Now”

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Getting Ready for England

Just got a call from my doc’s office with the numbers from the blood draw yesterday.  All were really good, except my white count was 3.2.  That number isn’t bad at all in and of itself, but it puts it in the range where my maintenance dose is reduced to half.  This has happened aContinue reading “Getting Ready for England”

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Maintaining

Getting the maintenance phase of this all worked out is… happening.  Had to go in again today (had the CBC yesterday) for another blood test (one of my liver function tests were high from last week and my doc, who is the hospital doc this week, didn’t get it ordered before we went in yesterday).Continue reading “Maintaining”

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Letting Out A Breath

I’ve been holding my breath for what seems like a lifetime.  Moments of being so very afraid, but not letting myself think about it.  So scared sometimes.  When something like this happens to you you fight that all the time.  I am, as all who know me would probably attest to, a positive person.  IContinue reading “Letting Out A Breath”

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Busy Weekend

It’s been a busy busy weekend.  Friday night dinner at Stan and Connie’s, with Stacia, Kev, my honey and I.  It was a great time.  Excellent food, as always, fantastic company ( I love you guys), and just really relaxing and comfortable.  Then yesterday Karen and I headed over to Maggie’s for a pumpkin carvingContinue reading “Busy Weekend”

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Stopping For Bullies

On our way home from a family dinner at Mom and Don’s place. Stopped at the pet store on the way home for bully sticks for the pups. They love them. Dinner was so good. Got to see family I haven’t seen in a long long time. Nice! Nothing like being in a room withContinue reading “Stopping For Bullies”

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Sunday… After Blood

Here we are, my sweetie and I (and the pups), hanging at the house today.  Karen woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep (still on England time I think), so she got up.  Luckily we went to bed so early and she went to sleep pretty early so she actually got enoughContinue reading “Sunday… After Blood”

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Day 15

It’s been a few days since I posted anything.  Not much happening around here, for me anyway.  Just laying on the couch being sort of tired as my numbers are down.  Blood draw tomorrow.  Here’s hoping the neupogen has done it’s job (had to get three more shots, for a total of 11… the lastContinue reading “Day 15”

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Neutropenic… Again

Just got the news from today’s blood test.  I am, once again, neutropenic.  Numbers are low.  They are hoping they don’t stay low for long, given that I’m on the neupogen.  Here’s crossing our fingers, toes, and whatever else you can cross, that I don’t get another neutropenic fever.  I haven’t had a fever atContinue reading “Neutropenic… Again”

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4 Down

Had a kind of hard day today.  Just not feeling well.  It’s day 7 of my cycle.  I made the mistake of getting up and taking a bath, and then shower to rinse off, right away.  I should know better.  I need sustenance before I do anything when I’m going through this.  No energy beforeContinue reading “4 Down”

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Laying On The Couch

Neupogen… the med of the week.  I’ve done two injections so far.  Not bad really.  Mom hangs with me for support.  Hopefully it works and I avoid the neutropenic fever and the hospital. Otherwise…. I talk to Karen a couple of times a day, sometimes getting to hear Sebastian cooing while he’s sleeping on grandma,Continue reading “Laying On The Couch”

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