My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago. It was unexpected and has been very difficult. We were planning on leaving April 5 to drive from Illinois to California to see her. It’d been a year. A terrible year that included the death of my father-in-law 10 months ago, the death of our lovely boyContinue reading “Betty”
Category Archives: Essays
That Time…
I have been, as we all have been, on edge. Anxious. Off-kilter. I think that’s probably the best descriptor. Off-Kilter. When I get like this I go into a sort of desperate, though not too desperate (I’ve been there and know the difference), searching for something to ease my mind, settle my soul, calm meContinue reading “That Time…”
Inside The Glass
I feel worn down. This is not an uplifting missive, as is usually my way, about kindness and joy. Though those things are still trying to claw their way up out of me. I feel worn down. This has been a tough few months for everyone, I don’t deny it. The virus, the violence, theContinue reading “Inside The Glass”
The Life And Times of a Sword Swallower
This is the first morning in over 13 years I’ve gotten up and haven’t then heard the sound of little paws coming out to find me. Weston was my shadow. My boy. He wanted to be where I was, most all the time. Following me downstairs when I went to fold the clothes from theContinue reading “The Life And Times of a Sword Swallower”
Making Lists and Wondering… What the Hell
May 16 I’ve been making a lot of lists. Movies to watch, tv shows to watch, dystopian books I’ve read, tasks to do, tasks done. I’ve worked on budgets for us, for K’s parents, for the rentals. I’ve walked the dogs with K, perused random things on the internet, and read too many news stories. Continue reading “Making Lists and Wondering… What the Hell”
Changes Afoot
Hello all… I’m going to jump right in… I’ve been restless with the blog. Not sure how I’ve felt about it for a while now. Do I get rid of it? Keep going? Change platforms? Change the look? Change? Stop? Change? It’s a sort of weird mantra. This annoying question. I created a page atContinue reading “Changes Afoot”
It’s a New Dawn, It’s a New Day
I’m a huge fan of Nina Simone. My favorite song? Feelin’ Good. I like it in all its iterations I guess. Most people probably have forgotten all about Nina’s version and skipped right to Michael Buble. That’s OK. I don’t think she would mind. Nor would she care about the Muse version. I like thatContinue reading “It’s a New Dawn, It’s a New Day”
Fathers
I originally posted this in 2013, but thought it could use a re-post. Fathers JUNE 26, 2013 I started writing this on Father’s Day and was, as can happen, distracted by actual life events. Visits from family and then traveling can do that. I nearly forgot about this post until I noticed it idling there, the redContinue reading “Fathers”
Eight Years
Eight years ago today a doctor walked into my hospital room and told me I had leukemia. Since then I’ve periodically asked a question of myself. Not, as you might expect, why me, or even just why. There is no why. It was random, not predictable, and as far as we know not preventable. ItContinue reading “Eight Years”
Gratitude and Grace
I had a great conversation the other night about gratitude and grace and the things that are important in life. It was lovely, and a good reminder. It’s very tough to not be overwhelmed by the things in life that don’t go as planned, the things in the world that are heartbreaking. It’sContinue reading “Gratitude and Grace”
We Need to Remember
“If we are to survive the most divisive presidency in generations, it’s up to us to climb down our family trees and better understand how we got here. It’s up to us to ask fellow countrymen “where are you from?” with a lot less fear and a lot more wonder.” – Bill Weir, States ofContinue reading “We Need to Remember”
Time to Look in the Mirror
We see what we want to see. That’s part of the problem. I was perusing Facebook, which I must say prompts many posts on this blog, and I saw a theme. Negativity. Plain and simple. There were posts about “those” people. Of one sort of another. You know them, the idiots, the ridiculous, theContinue reading “Time to Look in the Mirror”
52 Thoughts: Fifth Thought
I’ve been thinking. Today the sky is blue. It’s cold, but beautiful. The birds are at the feeders. The squirrels are trying to get to the feeders. The dogs are chasing the squirrels. They picked up our garbage and recycling today as per usual. I’m listening to music. We’re about to head to theContinue reading “52 Thoughts: Fifth Thought”
52 Thoughts: Fourth Thought
We have to hold onto each other. It’s simple. We need each other. We always have. No one person operates in a vacuum. We should be concerned for our fellow man. We should find reasons to love, instead of reasons to push people away from us. We get nowhere in life by isolating ourselves.Continue reading “52 Thoughts: Fourth Thought”
52 Thoughts: Third Thought
Lately I’ve been struck by how much our culture has sadly moved to a do as I say not as I do philosophy. If you want to relate it to politics, it’s both sides saying about the other that this or that has been said and it’s terrible, unconscionable, awful, then they turn around andContinue reading “52 Thoughts: Third Thought”
52 Thoughts: Second Thought
People are good. Inherently good. For the most part. I believe this. I always have. We just got done watching the Star Wars films, by the numbers, not in the order in which they were made. Why do I bring this up? Because the whole Darth Vader story is that anyone, if they giveContinue reading “52 Thoughts: Second Thought”
52 Thoughts: First Thought
It’s 2017. I’m happy about it. I kept waiting for it, ready to start anew. Ready for a reboot. Last year was stressful. Surprising and tense and divisive and nasty. Many good things happened in my life, but I was greatly affected by everything happening in the world, and that stuff, the stuff splashedContinue reading “52 Thoughts: First Thought”
Time to Get Out and Rake
I was sitting here at my dining room table yesterday looking out the sliding glass doors to my backyard like I’ve done countless times over the last five years. It was a beautiful fall day in Illinois. The sun shining, the air crisp, the leaves falling in cascades and covering the yard. I realized we’dContinue reading “Time to Get Out and Rake”
Shouting Out to the Void
We let ourselves forget we are all one people. People trying to be happy, to provide for our kids, to go on vacation, to pay our bills. We hug our children and grandchildren, laugh at silly jokes, watch movies, eat popcorn, tie our shoes. We want something better for our kids than we had, weContinue reading “Shouting Out to the Void”
After 10 Minutes on Facebook
I just spent 10 minutes on Facebook and now I have to write a blog post. Oi! I can’t take it. Politics, division, divisiveness, people being crappy, showing their dark sides, thinking it’s funny. It’s not. I don’t care who you support. I have my opinion, know what I’m going to do come November. IContinue reading “After 10 Minutes on Facebook”
Maybe There’s Hope For Us After All
I believe we all basically want the same things, even if we don’t agree about how we might get them. Trying to understand each other, giving each other simple respect as human beings, goes a long way. We all have different experiences which inform how we’ve decided to live our lives. There are many waysContinue reading “Maybe There’s Hope For Us After All”
Looking With Our Better Eyes
I was just reading a piece I have in draft, one I never posted here. It was a general rant about how much of what we read, see, are offered to take in via news and social media, is negative, derisive, and ugly. I’m not going to post it. I still agree with what IContinue reading “Looking With Our Better Eyes”
Our Beautiful Souls
When something shocking happens in life our world shrinks down. Everything we know somehow narrows, magnifying the thing in the center that is our pain, our sorrow, our grief, our fear, our shame. Suddenly we do not see, cannot see, anything outside of what we feel. We begin a sort of sleep walk. Moving around,Continue reading “Our Beautiful Souls”
Words to Live By (Part 5)
“If I saw you hitchhiking, I’d smile and return your thumb’s up, just for you doing such a great job of being a positive roadside influence.” ― Jarod Kintz Being positive, having a positive attitude, looking at things with a glass half full changes everything about your day and your life. A person can lookContinue reading “Words to Live By (Part 5)”
Words to Live By (Part 4)
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”― Josh Billings Dogs make things better, as do cats I suppose, if I had a cat in my life I’m sure I would think so. I don’t. I have dogs. There’s so much joy there, in their eyes and the wagContinue reading “Words to Live By (Part 4)”
