Essays · Opinion · Rants

A Word From Our Sponsor… Namely, Me

I do not choose to post inflammatory political stuff on this blog or in social media. I’m liberal and have my opinion but I didn’t even post stuff of that nature when I was really anti a previous administration. I see that sort of thing as plain ol’ finger pointing, which gets us nowhere. You want to solve the worlds problems and don’t agree with whoever is making tough decisions then do something constructive.  Volunteer somewhere, run for office, donate money to organizations you feel will help move the country in the direction you think it should go, write letters, take part in the process in a constructive way.  And if you must air your political opinion out in the open for all to see then why not post things that offer solutions instead of nasty rhetoric.  I have no issue with you, even if you disagree with me and we feel completely different about how problems should be solved, but let’s all of us get the hell out of the sandbox, pull up our big boy pants, and be civil.

The moral of this story… Let’s just everyone get a grip, try to focus on the positive, try to offer real solutions to things if you must be heard. I might not agree with you, but I will respect your opinion more and maybe a real conversation could be had.  One where people respect each other, honor differences of opinion, agree to disagree on some things, and then just maybe work toward real honest compromise.   When people post stuff that’s inflammatory I shut down, and so does everyone who doesn’t absolutely agree with it.  What purpose does that serve?  So those on either side can all nod their heads and agree that the other side sucks?  That’s not true.  Those on the other side don’t suck.  Everyone, really, is just living their lives, trying to do the best they can, loving their family and friends, and believing what they believe because it’s what they feel is right.  Me, you, your neighbor, the person in the checkout line, the guy sitting in the car at the stoplight, your kid’s fifth grade teacher,  your dentist, the woman out walking her dog, and on and on.  It’s time we stopped this us and them crap.  There is no us and them.  There’s just us, and we had better start being nicer to each other, more understanding instead of less, listening instead of talking so damn much, and seeing the good in our fellow man instead of the less than one percent that’s truly bad.  Again I will say get a grip people.  I’m tired of it.

That is all….

Essays · Family & Friends · LiFe

She Is Grace Under Pressure

I love my Mom.  It’s not just loving her though, I admire her.  When I think of some of the best qualities a person should have… truth, trust, honesty, integrity, acceptance, humor, a non-judging attitude and spirit, honor, fun, smarts, strength, an ability to keep moving forward no matter the circumstance,  and grace… she has all of that in spades.  I have known this, and looked up to her, my entire life.  She’s a fantastic role model, someone to aspire to be like, and then on top of that, she’s also my friend.

Mom and I sat at a restaurant I like while I was in Oregon this sad month and she said to me she was glad we could talk to each other about most everything.  I agree.  The truth is Mom and I have been friends most of my life.  I’m lucky.  I watched her while I was there for those 19 days and I, again, was amazed by her.  She is no stranger to sadness and heartache and yet she shines.  She keeps moving, keeps making sure those around her are OK as well.

I saw Mom with Don’s kids, who are fantastic people by the way, and I loved her all the more.  Was so proud to be her daughter, yet again.  Mom has a way about her.  A way to calm and make you feel like you matter and that you are important.  She does this effortlessly.  She does this naturally.  She does it with everyone she’s around.  It’s why people love her.  My friends, throughout my life, have loved and do love her.  And over the past three weeks she was these things for Don’s kids, without even trying.  She probably doesn’t even know she has had this effect her whole life.  The feeling she instills of calm and peace combined with that smile, the famous smile that beams light and love, it engulfs you.  Her presence says everything will be alright.

Somehow, through tears and sadness and heartbreak, she manages to keep that wonderful smile.  She manages to see that there is still beauty and love and hope and reason in the world.  This doesn’t mean she hasn’t been hurt and sad and angry in the last three weeks, or at other times in her life, it just means she knows how to feel that and still see the love around her.  She looks at the world with the best eyes… eyes of hope and love and possibility.  She doesn’t let circumstance weigh her down, change her outlook, make her cynical and hard.  She never plays the victim and has never been one.  It’s spectacular, really spectacular.

Mom has had her share of sadness and loss.  My heart aches for her now, as it has in the past, as she deals with this heartbreak.  But I know something, something she knows too, something she said to me herself, I know she will be OK.  And she will.  Knowing that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of her many many times a day and trying to will my love to her over the miles between us, I am and I do.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to hug her and tell her over and over that I love her and that even though I am miles away I’m holding her.  I think she knows this.  I hope she feels it.  But knowing it helps me, and her too I think.  Because it’s true.  As she gets through the hours, and days, and the next few months, she will keep her life moving forward.  She will love and be loved, she will have happiness and joy, she will laugh and have peace again.  She will be OK because she is grace under pressure.  She will be OK because she knows there’s more good than bad in the world, and that light always shines it’s way into dark spaces.  She will be OK because Mom is strong beyond measure.  She’s stronger than even she is aware of I think.  She will be OK because it’s who she is.

I love my Mom.  But more than just love, I admire her.  That admiration causing tears to stream down my face and my heart to swell with pride.  I love you Mom.

Nature · Photography

Butterfly

8371313244_89340889bf_h
Film · Words Written

Words Written

Coffey looks and he sees hate and fear, you have to look with better eyes than that. – Lindsey Brigman,  The Abyss

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

MV5BMTkzMTUwMDAyMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDIwMTQ1OA@@._V1._SY317_CR1,0,214,317_Fantastical. Action. Adventure. Dwarves. Heart. Cinematography. Jackson. Beautiful. Magical. YES.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – Skyfall

MV5BMjM1MzMzOTA3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTE3NzA1OA@@._V1._SY317_ Bond. Dench. Characters. Tortured. Action. Bardem. Typical. Fun. Romp. Yes.

Ebert Fest 2012 · Film · Video

Four Thumbs Up

Karen and I have our passes… do you?

Ebertfest 2012 Retrospective Doc from Shatterglass Studios on Vimeo.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – The Words

MV5BMTM2NjgyMjI3OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDkxMjIyOA@@._V1._SY317_ Layered. Truth. Words. Fiction. Story. Character. Lovely. Complex. Texture. YES.

Essays · Family & Friends · LiFe · Photos

I Hope The Fish Are Bitin’

I can’t believe it’s been a week.  A week.  Time goes so fast, or slow, or fast again, depending on how you look at it, and how you feel.  To me, and in talking to Mom, to her as well, it seems as if the last week has stretched out creating the illusion that oh so much more time has actually passed than has.  Yet all in slow motion… stretching.  It’s strange.

It’s strange what emotions do to you.  Sad ones anyway.  A week ago today Mom called me early early in the morning to say her husband, Don, has died suddenly, and what everyone believes is pretty peacefully, in his sleep.  She woke to strange breaths, tried to wake him, called 911, did chest compressions until the ambulance arrived, and watched as they worked on him both here at the house and then again at the hospital.  He couldn’t be revived.  She was sitting with him when she started making calls.

I couldn’t believe it early that morning and still I don’t know if I can believe it.  I was just here visiting a month and a half ago.  Just here at the house hanging out with them.  Here chatting with him, loving that occasional mischievous grin he’d get sometimes when he thought he was pulling one over or getting your goat a bit.  I really liked that grin.  I really liked how he made my Mom happy.  Gardening, traveling, spending time with family, trying new Vegan recipes together, reading the paper over good espresso in the morning, and watching the news at night.

Don was a passionate man.  Passionate about seeing and exploring the world, passionate about his grandkids and kids, passionate about my Mom and their life here on the farm.  He loved trying new gardening techniques and recipes and finding just the right mix to make a suet the birds would like and eat, mixing it up in big batches and devising a plan of delivery so the bigger scrub birds couldn’t get it all.

Sitting here helping Mom go through some of his papers I discovered he was a bit of a poet and philosopher at heart, eloquent when he wanted to be in writing his thoughts down.  Snippets here and there of things he’d experienced while traveling, feelings he’d had as kept moving forward through life.

He was an amazing guy, and though I didn’t know him nearly long enough, or know him as well as I would’ve liked, I really only need to know this… he loved my Mom well, he loved his children, and he adored his grandchildren.  He had friends he cared about and who care about him.  He knew what life is all about.  He lived his life using that as his guide… it’s about the people you love and who love you.  And because he lived his life that way, because he knew it was all about loving his people and them loving him, he made such and impact on those people… he made an impact on me.  I can see him in the beauty of his grandchildren, in their smiles, their sense of fun, in their determination.  I can see him in his children, how they are as parents, who they are as people.  His legacy is vast and far reaching.  His memory, his impact on everyone, so lasting and strong.

Don… you loved well… and you are so well loved…

And if you can hear this… hear me… I hope the fish are bitin’ where you are, and I hope they look out because Fly Fish Don is coming.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – Silver Linings Playbook

MV5BMTM2MTI5NzA3MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODExNTc0OA@@._V1._SY317_ Sympathetic. Uncomfortable. Cooper. Lawrence. Characters. Edgy. Eagles. Fantastic. Heart. YES.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – Hope Springs

MV5BMjIxODY2OTg2N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODAyODg5Nw@@._V1._SY317_CR2,0,214,317_ Marriage. Uncomfortable. Awkward. Therapy. Real. Streep. Carell. Jones. Peek. yes.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – Trouble With The Curve

MV5BMTUwNjMyMzQ3M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjcwNDMyOA@@._V1._SY317_CR0,0,214,317_ Baseball. Heart. Eastwood. Family. Timberlake. Adams. Atmosphere. Mood. Dialogue. Yes.

10 Word Review · Film · Opinion

10 Word Review – Get The Gringo

MV5BMjI1MzA0NjYxNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODg3Mjc2Nw@@._V1._SY317_CR6,0,214,317_ Unexpected. Violent. Gibson. Pueblito. Prison. Boy. Smart. Money. Fascinating. Yes.