Category Archives: Rants
My soap box.
Yes, grand gestures are awesome, but it’s the small things we do every day that really make a difference.
Parts of this video include footage from the Liberty Mutual campaign called the responsibility project. It’s by far my favorite ad campaign. All about doing small things to help our fellow beings, human and animal alike. Good deeds, just like bad deeds, create a wave. As the wave moves it picks up and grows. Lets use our power for good people. We have a choice. Choose love and help and kindness over fear and animosity and cruelty. If you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own. Positive energy instead of negative energy. It’s a choice we make hundreds of times a day in small ways and big. Think, and be better. I’m trying.
I’ve written many times about how I feel we should look at all sides, find common ground, talk over places we disagree with compassion and a willingness to hear. I’ve also written a lot about being open, non-judgemental, and how we are all, most of us anyway, pretty much the same, wanting the same basic things out of life. I believe all of it.
What I believe as well, more than anything else, is that we should all be kind to each other. We should talk from a place of kindness, act from a place of kindness, and think about the world and our fellow men and women from a place of kindness. This is not to say that we should all just get along and there will never be discord. Of course there will be, and is. It’s just that as we disagree we should do it with kindness. No name calling, no finger pointing, no bending of facts or twisting of ideals.
I was reading an article today on CNN.com, the subject of which I won’t talk about as it’s really not relevant to what I’m trying to say here, and then I looked at the comments. Needless to say it was the same ol’ same ol’. And people, listen when I say this, it came from both sides of the argument. As I’ve said, I’m liberal, but I get just as disgusted with the liberal rhetoric, hype, and nastiness, as I do the conservative comments in kind. What good does it do to point fingers, call names, make statements with no support or basis in fact, and generally act like an ass? We get nowhere doing this. Let me repeat… NOWHERE. We have to be better than this, people. We have to rise above our petty differences and playground tactics so we can have meaningful conversations. That is unless we feel we already have all the answers, know everything, and can learn nothing from each other. Arrogant much?
The key to acting with compassion is kindness. Kindness to ourselves, our neighbors, our loved ones, and yes… even toward people we feel might be our adversaries. I will listen to your reasoning, your opinion, your ideas, much more willingly if you don’t call me a name, make fun of what I believe in, and presume to know me. I don’t know you and therefore should do the same. Other than to say, once again, I really feel we are all after pretty much the same things in life… a good life well lived with people we love.
In an effort to look into kindness, do a bit of research you might say, I stumbled upon the seven virtues. The antithesis of the seven deadly sins, these are the seven ideals, the seven character traits, we should all strive to achieve. I actually read them through, not skimming but reading, which made me realize the deeper meaning behind them instead of the sort of one word definitions that are so often assigned to them. Chastity is a great example of this. People always think of chastity as the no sex virtue. Yes, there is a part of the definition that says save yourself based on your current status, but there’s so much more to it than that. In finding the seven virtues I was fascinated… I’d read them before, long ago, but reading them again, with older and hopefully wiser eyes, I found myself agreeing with them in basic principal, as I interpreted them. Key point here is how I interpreted them. We, each of us, take things in through the filter of our own perception. It cannot be helped. So I read these virtues and this is what I understood them to mean, for myself, and for the larger world. I took the original definitions directly from Wikipedia so take that for what you will. I’ve left in the gloss (the four highlighted words directly after the virtue that represent a brief marginal notation of the meaning of a word or wording in a text) and after that the sections of the definitions I felt summed up the essence of each virtue. I tried to do this paraphrasing elegantly so the basic premises of the virtues shown through. And away we go….
Chastity: Purity, knowledge, honesty, wisdom. To be honest with oneself, one’s family, one’s friends, and to all of humanity. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. The ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption.
Temperance: Self control, justice, honour, abstention. Restraint, temperance, justice. Constant mindfulness of others and one’s surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, moderation, zero-sum and deferred gratification. Prudence to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time. Proper moderation between self-interest, versus public-interest, and against the rights and needs of others.
Charity: Will, benevolence, generosity, sacrifice. Generosity, charity, self-sacrifice; the term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity to mean benevolent giving. Charity—or love (agäpé) — is the greatest of the three theological virtues. Love, in the sense of an unlimited loving kindness towards all others, is held to be the ultimate perfection of the human spirit, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of God. Such love is self-sacrificial. Confusion can arise from the multiple meanings of the English word “love”. The love that is “caritas” is distinguished by its origin – being divinely infused into the soul – and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up.
Diligence: Persistence, effort, ethics, rectitude. A zealous and careful nature in one’s actions and work; decisive work ethic, steadfastness in belief, fortitude, and the capability of not giving up. Budgeting one’s time; monitoring one’s own activities to guard against laziness. Upholding one’s convictions at all times, especially when no one else is watching (integrity).(The vice “acedia” is more commonly known as “sloth”.)
Patience: Peace, mercy, ahimsa, sufferance. Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. Accepting the grace to forgive; to show mercy. Creating a sense of peaceful stability and community rather than suffering, hostility, and antagonism.
Kindness: Satisfaction, loyalty, compassion, integrity. Charity, compassion and friendship for its own sake. Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. Having positive outlooks and cheerful demeanor; to inspire kindness in others.
Humility: Bravery, modesty, reverence, altruism. Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination; charity toward people you disagree with. The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. Reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one’s own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
I love the character traits present in these… being unselfish, inspiring kindness in others, loving your fellow human, conviction, honesty, patience, mercy, honor, generosity of spirit, justice, peace, and compassion. Just to name a few. These are the things we should strive for, these are the ways in which we should act in our own lives and toward our fellows. This is how we should live in the larger world.
I read these virtues and thought again, the greatest of these is kindness… it generates all the other traits. If we are kind to ourselves we are better people out in the world. If we are kind to our fellow humans then we spread an energy of joy and understanding versus judgement and antagonism. Kind people act with charity, they act with mercy, they act with love.
I don’t profess to always be the kindest of people. I try, but am honestly not always successful. The hope, my hope, is that I am more kind than not, that I think before I speak and act, and that I am always attempting to be aware of my actions and their impact on the people around me and the world at large. What kind of energy do I, do we, want to put out into the world? There are two options… positive energy, which pushes things in a loving and caring direction, or negative energy, which diminishes and constricts. It’s our choice every day. It’s the choice we make when we interact with the barista at our coffee shop, our partners friends and family, or a homeless person, or someone we are angry with or maybe disagreeing with. It’s a choice people. We need to try and be better.
I say strive for kindness… we would all be better off. The world would be better off. Small acts to large, every act of kindness matters. It matters, and it makes the world a better place.
… stepping down off soap box now…
I just read this post on Facebook and had to repost it here on my blog. It had me laughing so hard I was was crying. Thanks Margaret for posting it there and Jim (whoever you are) for writing it.
Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
by Margaret Shelburne Reed on Friday, February 11, 2011 at 7:46pmDr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
That’s all I have to say…. sort of.
My oh my have we been in the soup lately. I don’t know when we had a day off recently. I mean… a day off. No work, no play away from our house, nothing but relaxin’ at the abode. I can’t remember. That’s bad.
I was sitting here thinking about our week so far and our week ahead. ha ha ha ha!! I just drew a blank on what we did Monday. What did we do? Two days ago. We went somewhere. Did we? If we were with you, don’t be offended, it’s not that you’re not important to me, it’s that my brain is full. (Oh, just remembered, right before hitting the publish button… we didn’t go anywhere. Maggie came over and we made dinner and hung out. We did a vehicle exchange so we could take Maggie’s rig to the tire place for her Tuesday morning… yeah, that’s it. Sorry Maggie… I had a moment. Those squash patties were awesome by the way!)
I do know what we did last night. We went for a bike ride with some friends along Waterfront Park and the East Bank Esplanade. We crossed the Hawthorne and Steele bridges and stopped for some bento, yakisoba, and greek food at Riverplace. A great night. We are in training for the Providence Bridge Pedal on Sunday. In training… now that’s funny. We are so out of shape that what we pedaled last night was nothing compared to what we are supposed to pedal on Sunday. If we make it we will have to celebrate big time, if we can walk that is.
Tonight… I believe there’s a birthday get together for Don. Happy birthday Don! Tomorrow… we talked about going on another bike ride. We’ll see. Friday night… ah, Friday. I think, maybe we have nothing planned. Saturday an antique show/fair in Aurora. Sunday… Bridge Pedal.
Plus, the whole time all this is happening our bathroom addition is getting built. Framing is now done. Roof on today (they are re-roofing our existing house and roofing our new addition) and rough plumbing starting today as well. Kev put in the top of the sun tunnel that will be in our walk in closet last night. Karen is hauling another load to the dump this morning. Our tub, vanity, and other misc. stuff is getting delivered some time today between 10 and 2 (I have to run home when it happens to help unload… long story that involves curbside only delivery… ugh! Big crates dropped at the bottom of our long driveway… ridiculous) and the shower head, valves, etc. are also supposed to get delivered today. Karen is calling gutter people to get estimates. Kev is calling sheet rock and insulation places to get estimates. Electrician will start next week on rough electrical. Kev will put on the siding some time in the next while. It’s quite the production.
We need a vacation…
I’m tired. Tired to the bones tired. It’s nobody’s fault really. It’s just that I got only three and a half or four hours of sleep. Not good. It went something like this… stay up until almost midnight, go to sleep, wake at 3:20 when the little girl pounced on me then sat there on me looking at me, take little girl out, go back to bed, little girl pounces again because apparently she didn’t do all her business, take little girl outside again, go back to bed, realize little girl had left “traces” of her “movement” on my arm where I’d carried her, get up again and go to bathroom, wash arm thoroughly, go back to bed, don’t go back to sleep for a long time, finally go to sleep, wake up again when little girl pounced on me about a half an hour after I went back to sleep, whine that I didn’t want to get up again, watch Karen get up with little girl, stay awake until about 10 minutes before the alarm went off. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a girl gets tired.
Here we all are… waiting. Doesn’t really matter where as all waiting rooms are the same. Bad coffee, bad lighting, loads of people, weird smells, and the loud person. The loud person can be man or woman. I’ve experienced both. This particular loudy is a woman. A woman who’s knitting and talking simultaneously. Special.
We can all hear her. Clearly. We now know about her expected life span, her kids, her conversation with some percieved uppity person she once encountered. We know it all. Know it all and don’t want to. She keeps talking away and knitting. The people sitting next to her look like deer in the headlights. They are attempting to be polite by nodding, smiling, and adding an appropriately placed chuckle now and then. They are cringing. We all see it. Feel bad for them. Except, of course, the loudy. She sees nothing. Has no awareness of her impact. Has no idea we are all just wishing our names would be called so we could get up and leave this place. Ah.. That’s the dream…
I wonder… Always… Is she, are they, like this everywhere?The answer… Yes. Yes they are. Maybe it’s a nice life. Saying what you want to, wherever you happen to be, so loudly the people everywhere near you, and not so near you, can hear. Oblivious to the fact that people are simply longing for quiet. For peace. People are longing to be anywhere but near you, in the waiting room.
Mom… I agree with you. No matter what our politics, kids need to have a higher profile where our government spending is concerned. I see the aftermath when the cuts happen. What do we want… educated children, or a much higher drop out rate. People may say there’s no correlation, but trust me, there is.
… and other sad tales….
There is only one response to this… you run out into your yard, or onto your deck, you throw up your hands, and you scream at the top of your lungs to any and all who might be listening… STELLA!!!!!!
That is what you do. The end.
Yep… it snowed. Again. We still had a snow pile left over from the last time. Ah well… I guess Oregon has just joined the ranks of the East Coast winter club. Snow… cold… snow… and uh, oh yeah, more snow.
It is beautiful though. I have to admit. And… we’re going out anyway. Thor, as our car is now known after the last storm, can handle a mere couple of inches of snow. Besides… it’s already melting. I’m just whining… a little. Slightly. A small whine.
This is a sad and upsetting situation. You give a guy a really nice, collector’s edition, Leatherman. He loves it. He packs it in his luggage, luggage he can’t lock, and trusting the TSA workers, he checks said baggage with said collector’s edition knife (along with another leatherman and a nice folding pocket knife… all presents he and his lovely fiance received for Christmas), and the bastard TSA agents steal the knives. Steal them. No question. No doubt. Stolen. Right out of their can’t lock them bags. Unbelievable.
Here’s the thing… they are supposed to have all this security to protect us. I get that. I even really appreciate it. I never complain about waiting in line. I never even complain about not being able to take along my larger than 3 oz bottle of shampoo in the carry on. Some of it is an inconvenience, but I don’t mind. I don’t think it’s ridiculous. I mean hey, what’s the alternative right? They don’t check, and something terrible happens. So don’t go thinking I’m one of those complainer types. I’m not. But this… this has me incensed.
They are, as I said, supposed to be keeping us safe. They are supposed to be keeping us protected. They are NOT supposed to steal from us. To make us feel like our property is not secure in their hands. And what’s worse… we have no choice in matters. It’s not like we can lock up our bags to keep them out and keep our stuff safe, from them. We can’t. It’s not allowed. So every time we take a trip, travel anywhere, we basically say to them… here, here’s my stuff, go ahead, it’s free. Take it. We can’t stop them. We can’t carry it on.
Our options… we can not take our items (hard option when you travel for the holidays and receive gifts you want to take home) or we can ship them. This is what they say… you should ship your items. OK, so let me get this straight. We can’t trust you, so we have to ship our items… which costs money. Loads of money if you’re traveling out of the country. And it’s not as if ticket prices are inexpensive as it is. The price to fly anywhere, let alone Europe, is high. It’s tough to just get the funds together to buy the ticket. Now we also have to ship every little thing we don’t want ripped off by the airport “security”. That’s crap.
I don’t know what the answer is to this… but I’m angry. You should be too. This could happen to you. This could happen to anyone. It’s aggravating. It’s maddening. It’s frustrating. It’s wrong. I guess that’s what it comes down to. It’s wrong. Plain and simple. I’m disgusted. I’m disappointed. I’m wondering what the number is for FedEx. I have to travel in May. I think I might have to ship my entire bag to England. It’s the only way to be sure.
I realized recently that I haven’t posted much to this blog of mine in the last few weeks. Sure, there’s been the occasional photo posting for the photo hunt, but otherwise I’ve been a tad lax. My apologies. I have no excuse other than to say… I’m tired. Not of blogging. Just tired. Too many trips to the rental house, too many engagements, too many “things to do”. So much so that I’ve now resorted to whining about how much there is to do. How annoying.
I think, in an earlier post, I made a pledge to post more. I’ve obviously not followed through or fulfilled that promise. I guess, not even trying to defend myself, I’ll just have to do my best until this whole rental thing is finished. We are almost done. Just a bit more painting to do this weekend on the inside (thanks so much to Mom and Don who helped us, above and beyond the call of duty, last weekend! Props to you!!), the washer and dryer to move in, some trim to put up, and then the outside to get painted (we’ve hired someone to do that… we’re not completely insane). Ah, I can smell the end of this part of the project. It’s near.
This probably sounds like I’m complaining. And though I might be just a bit tired… brought on by a lack of sleep, recent MRI (no worries… just ended up being disc issues and some kind of shrinking sheath or something… I’m supposed to see a specialist. Also… I was glad the circus that lives in my brain didn’t show itself during the scan), out of town conference, Jann Arden concert, and dinner at a friend’s place (thanks Maggie for the panini)… all of this since last weekend… I’m not complaining. Just really really tired (have I already said that?). I’m looking forward to Saturday night when the painting, hopefully, will be finished, the trim put up, and the appliances moved. We will sit back with a bottle of good wine, put in a movie, and revel in our weeks worth of accomplishments. It will be glorious. Splendid. Fine indeed.
Then, perhaps, I won’t suck so much in my ability to get to the laptop and type a few words, or post a few pictures, or whatever. Perhaps I won’t be so sad and pitiful. Yeah… perhaps…
I’m miffed, if that’s even how you spell miffed. If it is, that’s what I am. I’m in insurance cancelling hell. Or was. I’m still steaming about it. Here’s the deal… I’ve been a loyal, on time premium paying customer of Nationwide Insurance for years. It goes back to 1988 when I started working for the government and Nationwide offered discounts to government employees. So, it’s been awhile. I’ve only ever had one claim, and that was when someone else hit me. All Nationwide had to do then was work with the other person’s insurance company so I could get my car fixed. Not anything too harrowing for them I’m sure.
Fast forward to April of this year. Karen and I decided, after being together for four years, owning a house together, car together, and now a dog, that we should probably combine our insurance. You know, quit paying two companies. Save a bit of cash. Given that decision we decided to go with her insurance as they also carry the homeowners policy. So, I quit Nationwide. Or so I thought. Maybe I should say I tried to quit Nationwide. I thought I quit Nationwide. I guess… I didn’t.
I sent them a letter, letting them know I was discontinuing my coverage with them and that I would be covered with someone else. I even faxed them, or I should say, Karen faxed them, the proof of insurance from the other company. I thought I was good to go, as that was the procedure that Nationwide layed out for me. Call, fax, letter, good to go.
Fast forward again just a bit and… yes, a bill from Nationwide arrives. So, Karen calls (she’s the real heavy hitter, the big gun, the more aggressive of the two of us, by far, hands down) and she is told by the not so nice and actually very surly folk at Nationwide that the bill was for my motorcycle and that we have to pay for the whole year on that policy and the bill we received was what was left of what we owed for the year. Whew… long explanation, but you get what I’m saying. The funny thing is, I was never aware that my insurance for the motorcycle was paid yearly. I made payments on it every month, like those on the Toyota, thinking that’s how it worked. They never told me any differently. But, here they were, telling us we had to pay, or it would go to collections, and to look at the fine print on the policy (I guess I should read the fine print more often). Funny thing is, when we called initially, they never said anything about us owing any more money. They said they’d cancel. They even said they’d refund part of the premium I’d already paid. Interesting.
Ah well… this is how they get us. I didn’t fight it. I sent them a check. I mean… it causes more frustration to stay in it than it does to just pay it (it wasn’t about the money anyway) and move on with our lives. So, we’ve moved on. Though I am, still, just a bit miffed…. if that’s how you spell it.