Tam's Think Tank

Went in for the blood draw today.  Counts are in and it’s a mixed bag.  My hematocrit and hemoglobin (red blood counts… RBC) are up a bit.  My platelets are down a little, but still in the normal range.  My white blood count however, along with the neutrophils, are down again.  I’m still in the moderate range of infection, though my neutrophils are only a smidge above high danger of infection range.  I’ve been here before.  Hopefully we are bottoming out here and by Thursday they are coming up, but one never knows.  That’s the hope.  I feel pretty good (because of the still decent red blood counts) and it would be great to be able to get out of the house safely, without a mask (Had to wear one today when going to get the draw and have to every time I leave… which I don’t really unless I’m going to get a draw or go to the clinic). I am, once again, the boy (or in this case girl) in the plastic bubble.  LOL  Kev offered to get me the suit, the one that’s self contained with the helmet.  I said no, for now…  I look at it all this way… the counts are down means the chemo is doing it’s job, which is what we want.  We want it to do it’s job so that’s a good thing.

My spirits are pretty good for the most part.  They go up and down as one would imagine, sometimes all in the same day.   I still have moments where the anxiety kicks in and then Ativan is my friend.  The anxiety doesn’t happen often anymore, but it does still happen.  It’s natural and very normal even though, for me, it’s a bit strange since I’m usually so mellow as a person.  But again, it’s pretty normal to have these anxiety attacks when going through something like this.  I get through them.  I always know what they are, so even during one I’m saying to myself… it will pass, it will pass.  And it always does.  I got on the treadmill today and then took a long hot bath.  Both good for the soul, and the nerves.

Karen just left for the store… more milk for cereal, batteries for the garage door opener, bread, ham for those panini sandwiches I love, and some cookies for me.   I didn’t crave sweets for a couple of months, but now every once in awhile I am craving them.

I’m watching the show Challenge on the Food Network (the Food Network and HGTV are my staples… along with the Travel Channel and whatever channel is showing a movie I might like to watch.  Earlier today I watched the Inside Man… not stellar, but watchable.  I’m not that picky.  I’ve even watched some Lifetime movies… yeah, I know… shudder at the thought.).  The challenge today is sandwich making.  Sandwiches are one of my favorite things to eat.  Yum yum!  It’s making me crave my favorite sandwich… the hot pastrami on challah bread from Kornblatt’s Deli on 23rd.  Now THAT is a sandwich.  SO good.  I will just add it to the list of restaurant foods I want when I can have them (can’t have food cooked in restaurants while I’m neutropenic… good thing my honey makes some tasty vittles!).

On that happy note… time to sign off of today’s entry and get down to figuring out what to watch (sandwich challenge is over)… and the winner is HGTV’s show Property Virgins.  You should check it out if you haven’t.