Tam's Think Tank

Day two… We didn’t get more than four hours of sleep. A bummer. The adjustment and all of coming back into the hospital I think. Otherwise though it’s been a pretty good day.

The push was a little bit of an event. Nothing big really, just mostly my anxiety because the site was tender and Gracy didn’t get any blood return when she tried to flush it. I’ve had two sites blow out, and it’s painful when that happens. So my anxiety was such that I needed an Atavan to come down from it all. After trying with two flushes, putting a hot pack on my IV site (which was my left hand), and still not getting any pain or swelling we went ahead with the push. It worked, but like I said, the site was tender and ached through the process so my anxiety was high. If it blew with Ida I could have that toxic poison in my arm and that could’ve stared killing cells and such…. Scary to me. Luckily that didn’t happen, but afterwards Gracy removed that IV site. I will get a new one in the morning before my third push. I am such a tough IV for them. Deep veins that shrink up when I get tense and I get tense every time because of all the issues I’ve had. But hey, only two more to go this time around and I’ll get through it. They will get a good site in and I will get those pushes and get home on Tuesday afternoon after the last of them. That’s our plan anyway.

Otherwise it’s been a good day. Took a shower, watched a bunch of movies, Karen got to talk to Mary for an hour or hour and a half while she walked around the hospital grounds, I talked to Mom who called to check in from camping at Davis Lake, Kev came to visit and joined us for our mile walk doing laps around the unit and a trip to the cafeteria to get ice cream. Yum. I had left over Thai food for dinner, also yum!, and Karen had some mac and cheese from the cafeteria. She said it was a bit bland, but it was Ok.

A side note here…. I love my honey. So very much. She keeps me sane and grounded and constantly makes me feel cared for and loved. I am so very lucky. So lucky.

I haven’t had any nausea today. Yay! Though I didn’t last time either until about a week after I was done with the pushes so in all actuality if I do have any reactions they will probably happen some time after we get home. I might also need a transfusion or two since my numbers are going to fall again. Not sure if they will go as low as they were since it varies by patient. But it’s a real possibility that I might need at least one. They can do those at interstate on an outpatient basis or here at the hospital. We also don’t know if I’ll be neutropenic again or not. I’ll be getting regular blood draws so we will know what’s up with me. I’m also back on the Atra until August 7. It’s a complex and involved process, but it’s a process that’s getting me to that place of being past this and that makes it all totally worth it. Yes it does!