Tam’s Think Tank

Well today was THE day folks.  The biopsy is done.  I’ve had, over the last few days, increasing levels of anxiety waiting waiting waiting for this day.  Building up, making me so tense I can’t even tell you.  This morning I was doing deep breathing exercises almost constantly.

We went into Sunnyside Hospital at one, checking in and getting sent down to the MPU unit.  MPU… something procedure unit.  Can’t remember now.  I got escorted in, Karen and Mom coming along to keep me company while I changed into the very short gown they provided.  Very short.  Thank goodness they gave me a blanket.  I laid down on a small bed and then the nurse tried to put in an IV to give me the pre-meds.  Then she tried again, different spot, after she blew the first one and put some saline into my arm (it’s still swollen since the saline has not absorbed into my body).  Not comfy. Then she gave up and brought in another nurse.  She tried one spot in my hand… didn’t work.  Then she went for the baby sized needle to use in a small vein in my hand.  That, finally after four attempts, worked.  I am a hard person to put an IV in.  It’s difficult and my veins often blow out.  But, finally… victory!  I was glad since that port was where the pre-meds were going to go in.

The pathologist and lab assistant get there, get consent, and in go the meds.  Ah…  Atavan (like valium… sort of) and morphine.  I felt them immediately.  The pathologist asked me to flip over and here we go.  She goes for the same spot as last time, pressing down really hard on my hip trying to find a good spot.  She marks it, puts in the local med, gets the needle, and goes in.  I realized, this time, that the pain mostly comes from all the hitting of nerves.  Despite the meds, I feel this.  It’s not fun.  At one point my leg on that same side moved when she hit a certain nerve.  She put in more of the local med.  My tally for the local was three by the time we were done.  She then realized her needle was too short and she had to go for a longer one, starting the process again.  She finally found the bone and then the screwing in started.  She got to the liquid marrow, aspirating it after counting with me to three (she did this because it’s a painful little endeavor, aspirating the liquid marrow), and then kept screwing in to try to get to the core.  She thought she got there and unscrewed it only to realized she’d gotten a clot of marrow (which they still can use). She kept that clot, and then tried again for the core, using whatever tool that is that screws into the bone.  She couldn’t get there.  Good thing the liquid marrow and the clot were good enough.  I was ready to be done.  Whew.

Karen and Mom came back then, bearing a black tea latte for me (thanks Mom), I got dressed (after, of course, the nurse made me stay 30 minutes, taking my blood pressure twice), and I was wheeled to the patient pick up area, where Karen picked me up.  We drove home, me feeling relaxed and relieved it was over, and Karen feeling relieved I was relieved.  We stopped at Pastini to pick up a to go order of macaroni and cheese with chicken for me as a little reward/celebratory meal.  I ate half of it immediately when we got home.  SO damn tasty.

All in all I am so glad it’s over.  The anxiety of having the procedure is lifted.  I feel my shoulders sort of slowly moving down to where they should be, instead of up by my ears as they have been.  I feel the relaxation sort of taking hold of the rest of me too.  It’s nice not to have that tension.  Not to have to do the deep breathing exercises every other minute.  It’s good.  I’m sore, but it’s good.  I’m going to be sore for a few days, but again, it’s good.

We have an appointment with my oncologist on the 23rd to find out the results.  10 days.  Lets all say it together… remission!