I am so proud. I can’t even express how proud I am. I could cry with it.

I always said I didn’t want children. People would bring it up and I was always the one saying no, not me. Ever. Then a funny thing happened. I met Karen. She asked me, after we’d been seeing each other for awhile, if I wanted to have kids. She already had two, but was willing to have another if it was something I wanted. Strangely, I found myself wishing very much that I’d met her earlier in life. If I would have, I think we might have had one or two. It’s a strange thing to realize that it’s not that I didn’t want kids, I just didn’t want them until I was with the right person.

We talked a lot about it for some time. A LOT about it. We decided not to, which was very much a mutual decision (as is everything we do). And we are both very OK with that decision.

As I mentioned earlier in this little missive, Karen already had two children when we met. One of those kids, Mary, I’ve been around a lot and gotten to know very well. The other, Thomas, I haven’t been around as much and I’m hoping I’ll get to spend more time with him in the near future. What I am, to both of them actually, is a step parent. I didn’t think I would ever even be a parent, let alone a step parent, so being one has been surprising to me. At this point I can only really speak to my relationship with Mary, but then she is why I started writing this post in the first place.

Mary. I love this girl. More than I thought I ever could or would. As all step parents know it’s a tenuous thing, getting to know your partner’s children. You don’t know if you are going to like them, or worse yet, if they are going to like you. You hope so, but you don’t know. When I met Karen I knew the single most important person in her life, the one whose opinion mattered to her the most at that time, was Mary. Meeting her was one of the scariest things I’d done. I wanted her to approve of Karen’s choice in me. Luckily I think she did.

It has been sort of slow going… Mary and I really getting to know each other and getting close. We’ve never lived in the same town, let alone the same state or even country. We’ve had sets of weeks here and there over the last seven years when we’ve had this sort of crash course in developing our relationship. Yet somehow I feel like we have. I love the kid with all my heart. It’s an amazing feeling. Very big. Stunning really.

Today Mary went into a room, talked to some professor’s for an hour, and came out of that room with her PhD. She was awesome! Her mom and I both knew she would be. That’s Mary. The girl is tenacious and fantastically smart.

It’s been and is going to continue to be a terrific year for Mary…. getting married, getting her PhD, and in September, having our first grandchild. I am overwheled with happiness and pride. I am overwhelmed.

For a person who never thought I wanted kids I am now the proud parent of three… Mary, Martin (Mary’s fantastic husband who it would take a completely other post to talk about), and Thomas. For a person who wasn’t sure what it would be like to be a parent and wasn’t sure I even wanted to be one I can say this… It is, without a doubt, the most fantastic thing that has ever happened in my life, save for meeting Karen (which made this all possible in the first place). I am so proud of the person Mary is. So happy for her and the life she is living. I am lucky to be a part of it and so inspired every day by her. I also know I am a better person for knowing her. Mary, you amaze me.

Hey everyone… There’s a doctor in the house… Our kid is a doctor!